Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Sitting is exhausting

The last time I was as still as I have been for the past two days, I was on bed rest and pregnant. I'm not used to being quiet and sitting all day.

For the past two days, my district has been conducting hearings regarding those of us laid off. Hearings will continue tomorrow. The past two days have been a haze of circular arguments and huge, run-on sentences.

My emotions have ranged from irritated to hopeful to despondent and all the way back to irritated. I started out as 24 of 34, in terms of English teachers being hired back, and now I am 9 of 16. That means that nine teachers ahead of me will get their position's back if someone retires, resigns, or is fired.

My situation is improved, so I am grateful. However, I have dark thoughts towards those teachers with less experience than me who found out yesterday that they have their English teaching job back. I'm trying to be a gracious person, and I'm almost always successful. I keep telling myself that there is a reason I'm in this situation. That I do have power and that is not happening to me. I'm not always successful.

So tomorrow I will sit during my last day of hearing, and I will wait. I will read my book and resist the urge to roll my eyes. I will maybe not be 100% successful, but heck, you can't blame a girl for getting restless.

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