A Very Strange Week

This week started okay, but it turned out to be very dramatic and significant. I am left feeling more than shell-shocked.

On Sunday, Justin's parents stopped by as they headed home to Redding from Visalia. We had a lovely evening, eating hamburgers and relaxing. They put Em to bed so we could watch a movie.

During the movie I got a text from a teacher at my high school. She told me that a student of mine had been shot and killed at a graduation party. I am not overstating it when I say that my heart broke.

D'andre was the first student I've lost, and it has shaken me to the core. I cannot believe that he is gone. I taught him my first year at Valley and he was a god-send to me. He was funny, kind, and, unlike most of his peers, not interested in pissing me off. Yes, he was hot-headed at times. But he matured a lot over the past three years, so it was terribly shocking to hear that he died in such a violent way.

In the midst of all of this, I had an interview to get ready for. D'andre's death strengthened my resolve. Not to sound corny, but we really don't know how much time we have left. So I'm not interested in spending it all crying and wringing my hands. I gots things to do.

So I interviewed for an admin position at Cosumnes Oaks High School. I thought I did well; I know my answers were solid, but my voice shook in a couple places. That was the kiss of death. For some reason, appearing nervous during an interview in my district means everything. Part of me (the bitter part mostly) finds this really annoying. Do they really expect one to not be nervous?! None of the people interviewing had a ton of experience, so if a person is super confident doesn't that reveal a bit of arrogance? Cuz that's what we want--more arrogant admin.

As you can probably deduce, I did not get the job. But the director I spoke to on the phone said she was sending my name forward for vice principal interviews. This was very exciting news. Last year I couldn't even get invited to the dang party, and now this. It's all very lovely.

Of course, there is one potential, huge snag. A friend of mine, who may also be invited to the show, told me that the vp interviews will be June 23rd and 24th, right smack dab in the middle of our Disneyland vacation. Ugh.

I am hoping she is wrong, or that something changes in the next two weeks, but I find that unlikely. Again, ugh.

So, as I finish up this last crazy emotional week, I am repeating a few key ideas so that I don't go completely bonkers and starting banging my head into the wall:

1. Unlike the dozens of people who are saying awful things about D'andre's murder online, I really knew him. And I was lucky to.
2. My students the last three years, including D'andre, have taught me not to apologize for myself and what I want.
3. There are these things called airplanes, so if necessary, I can fly up for an interview and fly back. Annoying yes, but possible.
4. I got very positive attention during my interview. I am in the right place, and I am doing the right things.

So, yes, my inner mantras are a bit long-winded, but that's how crazy my mind is right now. I need some serious talking to. That's today's plan. :)