Sunday, May 16, 2010

If You Can't Say Something Nice...

This year my career has been all about opposites. 40 things due in one day; the next week, relative calm. No admin jobs posted; then in two days, six jobs posted. Ack! I'm the little yo-yo that could this year.

This end-of-spectrum effect is especially true with my teaching schedule. On one end, I teach the supposedly most skilled students of the 10th grade--English 10 Honors. On the other end, I teach the so-called "intervention" 9th graders. One would think that both groups of students are polar opposites. Yes, that way mostly true. Except for one aspect.

Both groups think everyone wants to hear their opinions all the effing time.

These opinions, on a range of scintillating topics such as the teacher's clothing choices and every single assignment given to them, are issued at lightening speed with each individual student shouting their view simultaneously.

Fun.

The 9th graders opinions tend to center on things they don't understand. Truly, they mean to ask questions; they just don't realize it. The honors kids actually bug me more because they don't know what they don't know. In other words, they've grown too big for their britches.

I have found myself giving my standard lecture about opinions to both groups REPEATEDLY. Version 1 (the kinder, Ms Harrell had plenty of coffee rendition) goes along like: "After spending 31 years on this lovely planet of ours, I have come to the conclusion that only one person wishes to hear my opinion." Insert pregnant pause here as my students still have no idea where this is going. "Me. Yup, I'm the only one. And you will find this is true for you too, I imagine." Version 2 (the Ms Harrell has answered the same question literally 55 times) is much shorter: "Opinions are like butt-holes; everyone has one." Enough said.

Recently, I have found me giving myself the same talking too. As I am sure everyone within shouting distance is aware, I have lost my job. Yes, it is because of no fault of my own. Yes, I have experienced a tough break.

However, my opinions are best kept to myself, as 90% of what I want to say about this situation is bitter and mean. MEAN.

So, in order to avoid being one of those haggish English teachers I hate, I am going to keep my mouth closed as much as possible. This will be a tall order, as I love to hear myself talk and my anger has whittled my sarcasm to a razor's edge.

However, if this truly is going to be my last teaching job for a while, if I truly am not going to be able to be an influence on children in the near future, I better make sure that the influence I currently have is positive.

Sigh.

So I here I sit, with my mouth closed. Yup, those are my teeth you hear gritting together...

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