Saturday, October 18, 2008

Making the world a better place

Yesterday, I had a frustrating experience. It was frustrating for two reasons: 1. Because of someone else's behavior, and 2. Because of my behavior.

Here's what happened.

I had to sell tickets at our football game last night, and I was partnered up with another English teacher. This teacher and I haven't had the best beginning to a relationship, not that she's necessarily aware of that. Last year, she reported something I said at a staff meeting directly to my supervising principal. Not cool. I had this whole stupid situation to clean up, and I did not appreciate it.

So I don't really trust her. Not exactly thrilled to spend 3 hours in a booth with her.

We're selling tickets and I'm trying to make the best of it, chatting, trying to have an open mind. And then she's a complete butt head, and a rather racist one at that.

My school is mostly African-American and Latino. We have less than 100 white students at our school. Our football team is mostly black; since their families attend, our football audiences are mostly black.

Last night we were playing a school not in our immediate area, and it became quite clear that this is a mostly white school, or at least, a white football team. Whatever, not a big deal.

Well, I thought it wasn't a big deal.

I started to get peeved when every time a white family came up, my partner said "You're from the guest school, right?" And to any minority family she'd say "Our school, right." Not necessarily racist, but just rude. (The best part was when this older, black man called her on it: "Why did you assume I was from your school. He was just messing with her, but it was awesome. She totally floundered.)

Then I got real mad when she noticed two youths, both black, standing by her car. She said, "I'm glad I can see my car from here."

And this is where I got mad at myself.

I didn't say anything.

I felt so weak afterwards. How can I expect to make the world a more accepting place where all kids from all backgrounds can excel if I don't even have the backbone to call someone out on their racism?

I need to work on this. I've had this hollow feeling in my gut all morning. I mean, for goodness sake, I'm in a class on equity and diversity in school leadership. Talk about not practicing what you preach.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi H,

Inferring school affiliation by observing someone's race, while possessing knowledge that the two schools are so clearly divided along racial lines, as you pointed out is not racism.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/racism

The comment about the boys could be racism, but if you did not ask why she was concerned about her car, its not possible to know if it was their race.

Her car may have been vandalized or burgalarized in the past at the school, she could know those particular students, or she may be concerned about other particular students who didn't like a grade they earned and those kids near her car triggered those concerns.

You were there, and perhaps other details that can't be shared on a blog are more revealing of her motive, but its worth being sure there isn't another legitimate explanation before concluding the behavior is racism.

Stephanie said...

I completely understand what you are saying--it can be something that kind of eats at you, especially if you are wanting to stand up for what you feel is right. You do make the world a better place everyday with your students and they know it, and they are the one's that matter. I don't feel that anything you could have said to that woman would actually have changed her world at all--except maybe to make things more challenging for you. You see her more clearly now, and can go forward with that info. :-)

Did the ticket price or such have any relevancy in knowing what school they are rooting for? I love that the fan said something to her, because assumptions can be just as negative as overt racism, regardless of her knowledge.