Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Feeling Stuck

I'm experiencing an interesting time in my career. This year has proven to be intellectually stimulating and also frustrating.

Here's the short of it: It's my second year at my school--not the new kid, but also not totally taken seriously; I am really excited about what I have learned in grad school, but it's kinda like I'm dressed up with no where to go; Since I teach all periods, I really don't have time to look for leadership opportunities; I'm not ready to be a vice principal, necessarily, but I'm treading water as a teacher right now

Today my overriding emotions were impatience, anxiety, and feeling trapped. While I LOVE my students, the overall environment of my school is limiting. For example, we all have to have the same instructional calendar, assessments, and strategies within our grade levels. I see the value of collaboration, but I've never been a follow-the-leader kind of gal. I can think for myself. What's worse is that we are told that we are respected by administration, but everytime I leave a meeting, I feel the opposite.

So my questions to myself are

1.Am I really ready to leave teaching or is my school just NOT the place to be?
2.Can I lead?
3.Why do I want to lead?

So, yeah, I am stuck. I love the new ideas I am getting and I really think I can lead a school. I want to move on, but there's no path for me. So I wait. Sigh.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to be when I grow up too. It's hard. Make sure you're happy!