Happy Birthday Niece!

Here are some pics from my niece's 2nd birthday.

Em's 2nd Birthday

We celebrated Em's birthday this weekend at a local park. It was rather hot, but we had a nice time. A ton of family came to celebrate with us, and Em even had friends come from her daycare. The party was Dora-themed and Em was so excited about it. She immediately spotted the big Dora balloon and shouted, "Dora, Dora, Dora!" It was adorable.

We had a great time, but it was great to finally get back to the house and the air conditioning. Justin and I put Em to bed at 8:30 and we were down not much later. We were pooped, but happy!

Making a tradition

My husband and I were together for five years before Em, and we had some very predictable patterns. We'd get off work around five. I'd go running. He'd make dinner. We were eating in front of the t.v. every night by 8. At ten we were in bed. On the weekends we'd watch cooking shows and go out to eat.

Life was predictable. To be honest, it was getting a little stale.

Now that we have a daughter, much has changed. We live in a new city, we are re-entering higher education, and we watch much less television. The best part is that we are developing new traditions for our small family of three.

I'd wager that when most people think of tradition, they think of one of two things: Holidays or possibly The Fiddler on the Roof. While holidays are fun and an important part of a family's tradition, I'm thinking more about the day to day traditions families come up with.

My daughter is getting older by the second it seems, and with that she is becoming so much more aware of her world. It is incredibly fun to try new things with her; it's also a joy to have certain, special traditions to share with her.

Here are a few of the traditions we have begun in the two years of having a daughter:

1. Saturday morning carpet picnic: we lay down a towel, set out breakfast, and watch PBS cartoons, usually Maya and Miguel, Curious George, or Word Girl
2. Mommy and Em get pretty together: on the weekends, Em and I spend a little extra time picking out cute outfits, doing our hair, and playing with make up
3. Frozen yogurt after doctor visits: Whenever we have to do something particularly unfun, we get to have a nonfat frozen yogurt
4. Sunny Saturdays are for parks: Occasionally my husband comes along, but typically it's just Em and I who go to the park together. I love being outside and she seems to agree
5. Daddy nighttime cuddle: My husband has a nighttime ritual of cuddling Em to sleep. It's changing a little now that she's bigger, but she definitely wants her Dada right before bed

These are just a few of our new patterns as a family. This is all very new to my husband and me, but it is an incredible time, growing a new family. My husband and daughter are truly the best people I know.

I should know better

My daycare lady is going on vacation next month, so I sent an email to family members who offered to help watch my daughter in these situations. Well, now I'm in a mess. Partly my fault, yes, but a mess nonetheless.

So here's the email I sent to my daughter's grandparents (all three sets):
Hi Everyone!

I hope everyone is doing well. We are having a quiet weekend after Justin's big birthday bash.

Emerson's daycare will be closed the following days: March 10-18th and April 21st. We wondering if any of you would care to watch Emerson for us on any of those dates. This would be a great help to us because Justin will be able to sub and I won't have to use any sick leave.

Please let us know if you are available. Also, she is taking off a week in November too, the 3rd through the 7th.

Thank you so much! Talk to you soon!


I thought it was a reasonable email, but still we have issues. My husband's mom emails me and says that she'll take Emerson the whole week...in Redding. And she volunteered my sister-in-law (I'm pretty sure this will be news to her) to watch Em during the day. First, I'm not ready to spend a whole week without my daughter. Second, my sister-in-law has her own daughter, and I don't want to be a burden on her. They just bought a house, etc.

So I'm a big girl, and I email my mother-in-law and say that I just don't feel comfortable with Em being gone the whole week. Could she stay at our place half the week and in Redding the other half? The response I got: "I'd get cabin fever staying in your apartment." And that was it. So I have no idea where the situation is. I see an uncomfortable phone conversation in my future.

What makes it worse is that my mom also wants to watch Em (which I did not anticipate cause she's watching her the weekend before.) And my mom is not enjoying my mother-in-law right now, so I don't really want to tell her the whole situation. I don't want to give her a reason to bad talk my husband's mom. (My husband will lose it.)

I've evaluate this situation and come to the conclusion that I need to be much more specific: ask one person for a couple days and another for the rest and be clear that I want Em to be at home. I'm sure I'll get through this okay, but I just HATE confronting women. I'm so intimidated by them and it's so unpleasant.

Ugh. I just feel really stupid about not anticipating that this would be the result. It's ironic to me that when family offers to help, it ends up being about the opposite. Boo.

Birthdays should be fun...DUH!

I have always loved my birthday. I love surprises and cake, so it's a perfect day for me. And I love other people's birthdays too. The whole ceremony just gets me.

Over the past three years, birthdays, however, have become less fun. And it's not because I'm getting older. (I'm only 28 for goodness sake.) I can sum up my new distrust of birthdays in one word: family.

My parents' divorce finally went through this fall, but they've been apart for more than two years. It was not amicable. Currently, my father is living with the person who caused much of the rancor. Well, to be fair, my parents caused most of the rancor, but she's an easy target.

Right before my daughter's first birthday, I came to the conclusion that I did not want to have two birthdays, two holidays, two whatever to appease my parents. And I've stuck by that. If they want to celebrate with my husband and I, then they need to behave like grown-ups. I refuse to go through hoops and extra expense to make them feel better.

This all sounds good on paper, of course. They behave fine during the event, but it's the after that is no fun. My mom still whines about Em's birthday (which was in June), and my dad is non-communicative about it, but he is so stinking awkward when my mom is around.

Now it's my husband's birthday, and we only invited my mom. I wimped out and I feel awful. It annoys me that I let her bad behavior dictate my choices. To be quite honest, I just didn't want to deal with the backlash. Unfortunately, the whole thing makes me feel about five years old. Boo.

Take-a-deep-breath Friday

This was the longest four day school week in recent history! Even my students were commenting: "I'm tired and we've only been in school four days." Here's why I woke up on Friday morning thinking it was Saturday (so depressing):

1. Last week was the end of the semester and I graded 110 essays in two days

2. Last week my grad application was due

3. Because of last week, I started on Tuesday with a whole lot of crap to do

4. My grades were due and we had a staff meeting after school on Tues (Mean!)

5. I was out of the class room on Wednesday working on a project a monkey could do

6. We had a minimum day on Thursday for another meeting

7. My husband started night school and I was Parent-in-Charge two evenings

8. My students ask really stupid questions sometimes

9. My co-workers ask really stupid questions most of the time

So, we get to Friday, which was a normal day with no weird schedule or deadline and here was me: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! I cleaned my boards, replaced paper on my walls, planned for next week, and even considered organizing my desk (that will have to wait til next week.)

The one almost bummer was that I had to supervise a basketball game so I didn't get to go running last night or have dinner with my family. But it was great to see my boys play (they are so big!) and I was the only staff member who showed up to her duty (there were two other ladies signed up), so my boss got to see me be graceful under pressure (always a plus.)

I'm looking forward to a weekend of no obligations and no visits out of town. Hopefully, we can find something fun (and cheap) to do tomorrow.

Next weekend is my husband's birthday and we have a ton of family coming over. His birthday is the official start of our crazy February: his birthday, his dad's, my mom's, Valentine's Day, and our anniversary. So this is my last quiet weekend for awhile: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Ah, downtime!

I really, really needed a vacation. I feel so much better now that I've had a few days off. It's been glorious to get out of town. And it's been wonderful spending so much time with my adorable niece. We went to an awesome park yesterday in Redding and the girls had a blast. My daughter went down the slide by herself (not too thrilled by it actually) and climbed all over the play structure.

Before we left Elk Grove, there was some definite weirdness. Out of the blue, my dad decides to visit. So he comes up for dinner, which is fine, but he brings with him a whole cadre of akwardness: his girlfriend, her stern Dutch mother, his girlfriends two children (who are NOT impressed by my father), my disapproving grandmother, and my aunt (who is lovely.) We somehow crowded everyone around our very small table. It went fine, but I managed to kill off a bottle of wine. Oops! :)

So, tomorrow we're heading back home and back to reality. And back to two angry cats, I imagine. Oh well, Christmas is only a month a way. I can make it...

So Happy to be Here!

I have dreamt about this Thanksgiving for the longest time, as far back as six years ago when I made the first drive up from San Jose to my husband's family in Redding. It took us almost 8 hours! It was a new kind of horrible. I honestly remember sitting in traffic on the 80, not moving, and thinking, "Do I really love this man?"

And when I was a month pregnant and facing the same drive and the fun job of telling his parents, I was thinking, "Boy I really love this man." And then I spent the next six hours pulling over and throwing up.

Now, my attitude is much improved. We have finally moved out of the Bay Area and we are heading up tomorrow to Redding to spend my favorite of holidays with our lovely family. I finally work in a school district that gives off the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. (Though, I'd be estatic to work in one that gives the whole week, but I'll take what I can get.) I'm so happy I drew hand Turkeys (a la first grade) on my board. My highschoolers were actually pretty appreciative, surprisingly.

I hope all the families out there have a fantastic holiday with their families. I look forward to reading all about your celebrations.

Happy Thanksgiving!