What's Wrong Here?

The past three weeks I've had an eerie feeling I've struggled to shake off. I kept feeling like there was something I was forgetting: an event, a bill, a due date. I rifled through every aspect of my life, trying to find what it was I neglected. I finally decided I hadn't forgotten anything.

Then I figured out what was bugging me--I have had a ton of free time lately. And that free time is pretty much uninterrupted until grad school starts again next fall.

Weird.

Allow me to explain.

Since the Spring of 2006, my family and I have moved every year:

* Spring 2006: Pregnant. Desperately needed to live in a downstairs apartment with a washer and drier. Complications--on bed rest during move, pretty sure my husband almost died from exhaustion.
* Spring 2007: Tired of living in San Jose and paying ungodly amounts for rent. Decided to transplant to Sacramento area. Complications--one year old daughter decided to learn how to crawl one month before the move. Fun.
* Spring 2008: We made the mistake of moving into a crappy apartment in Elk Grove and the management was jerking us around. We decided to rent a house. Complications--my sister moved the weekend before. My family LOVES us.

This year, however, we aren't moving. And I cannot fully explain how wonderful that is. Our moves for the past three years have always coincided with the end of the school year and our daughter's birthday. By the end of June, we are always exhausted, broke, and, to be honest, a little hung over.

My happiness fully hit me today as I was planning Emerson's upcoming third birthday. We finally get to host her party at our house. We tend to invite a lot of people to her parties; we have a ton of family that we don't get to see very often. So we've had to have her parties the last two years at the park. I do not enjoy. Parks seem like a good idea. They are not.

This year we'll be at HOME. I'm sure we'll be tired (and slightly annoyed at overextending ourselves), but we will be home. Finally.

Happy Birthday Niece!

Here are some pics from my niece's 2nd birthday.

Em's 2nd Birthday

We celebrated Em's birthday this weekend at a local park. It was rather hot, but we had a nice time. A ton of family came to celebrate with us, and Em even had friends come from her daycare. The party was Dora-themed and Em was so excited about it. She immediately spotted the big Dora balloon and shouted, "Dora, Dora, Dora!" It was adorable.

We had a great time, but it was great to finally get back to the house and the air conditioning. Justin and I put Em to bed at 8:30 and we were down not much later. We were pooped, but happy!

Happy 29, Grandma!

My whole life, my paternal grandmother has always been 29 years old. Who cares if she's had 52 29th-Birthday parties, she's the grandma and we don't question her.

I've always wondered why she picked 29 to stop aging. Was she scared of 30? Did she like being 29? I don't imagine it was a very care free time: she had four boys at that point and handful does not go far enough to describe my uncles.

This all makes me think about how I feel about aging. I turned 29 yesterday and to be quite honest I don't feel much different. Today feels just about the same as last Sunday, though I had a great party last night.

My family, sans my father, came over last night, as did my husband's family and a few close friends. We had meatloaf, macaroni, cheese zombies, and tasty salads (imagine that.) We also had far too much wine. It was a fun time. I dressed up, curled my hair, and wore earrings. I felt really good about myself.

Today I'm going with my in-laws out to lunch in old Sac. I will again wear a sassy outfit. And I will do it all as a newly 29-year old woman.

I remember when waiting to be a year older was so exciting. "No, I'm not 11 anymore...I'm 12 now." I wonder when that stopped being the case. And I wonder why women lie about their ages. And more importantly, will I feel the pressure to do so?
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Topics: birthdays, aging

Birthdays should be fun...DUH!

I have always loved my birthday. I love surprises and cake, so it's a perfect day for me. And I love other people's birthdays too. The whole ceremony just gets me.

Over the past three years, birthdays, however, have become less fun. And it's not because I'm getting older. (I'm only 28 for goodness sake.) I can sum up my new distrust of birthdays in one word: family.

My parents' divorce finally went through this fall, but they've been apart for more than two years. It was not amicable. Currently, my father is living with the person who caused much of the rancor. Well, to be fair, my parents caused most of the rancor, but she's an easy target.

Right before my daughter's first birthday, I came to the conclusion that I did not want to have two birthdays, two holidays, two whatever to appease my parents. And I've stuck by that. If they want to celebrate with my husband and I, then they need to behave like grown-ups. I refuse to go through hoops and extra expense to make them feel better.

This all sounds good on paper, of course. They behave fine during the event, but it's the after that is no fun. My mom still whines about Em's birthday (which was in June), and my dad is non-communicative about it, but he is so stinking awkward when my mom is around.

Now it's my husband's birthday, and we only invited my mom. I wimped out and I feel awful. It annoys me that I let her bad behavior dictate my choices. To be quite honest, I just didn't want to deal with the backlash. Unfortunately, the whole thing makes me feel about five years old. Boo.