Something Unexpected This Way Comes

My last blog discussed how weird it was to work with my husband. I would like to use the same forum to state that I was completely wrong, wrong, wrong about working with my husband. It wasn't weird; it was great! In fact, I think my husband getting his teaching credential was one of the best things to happen in our relationship since Emerson was born.

Seriously.

Last summer, Justin and I went through a rough patch. I felt really cut off from him emotionally, and I felt he had no idea how the stress of our new life in Sacramento was wearing me thin. Though I'm not a therapist, it seemed like he was going through some sort of depression.

We didn't talk. We just sort of orbited around each other, only coming in close contact to argue.

But this year, our relationship experienced a positive change. We started talking about things non-house, non-Emerson related for the first time in years. We talked about students, teaching, and Literature.

That talking has continued and grown throughout this summer. We are both teaching English 9, but at different schools. I always thought I'd feel threatened if he taught the same thing as me. No, he's a very gracious teacher, very willing to share ideas and listen.

I'm excited about this upcoming year for more than just the fact that we will have two incomes again (I won't lie though; that will be AWESOME). I can't wait to find out where our conversation leads.

Keeping Anxiety In Perspective

I teach Sophomore English, and in California that means one big thing: the California High School Exit Exam. This is a test in math and English that all students, regardless of IEP (special education plans) or second-language status, must pass in order to graduate high school.

There have been grumblings for years about high school graduates not having the basic skills they need for college. Universities as distinguished as UC Berkeley bemoaned all the students they had to place in remedial English and math. Parents and students were shocked to find out how much it costs to take classes that don't count for graduation. And businesses complained that students were coming to them without standard skills in mathematics and communication.

Take social discontent, add political pressure and a fresh shaving of high-stakes testing and voila, the CAHSEE is ready to go.

And this test presents its own weird set of issues. First of all, it's mostly based on middle school standards, so its classification as a "high-school" exam is not entirely accurate. True, students need to pass it, but if they don't pass it as 10th graders, they can take it twice as juniors, and four times as seniors. In addition, most schools offer support programs for students who need help.

However, first-time passage can mean so much to a kid: a big weight lifted, one less thing to worry about, and more room in his or her schedule for college-required courses. So we have endeavored at my school to increase first-time passage and help students take control of their educational destinies.

I have learned, however, that there is a fine line between preparation and panic. Yes, my students need to pass. Yes, it's important. Yes, I do not want to be the one in May to tell them we didn't do enough to get to the required 350 score. But, I don't need to make my panic their panic.

Today, a fellow teacher and I got a bunch of students together, fed them pizza and took them through interactive review for the CAHSEE. It was relaxed. It was social. And, dare I say this, I think they learned something.

So did I.

Learning doesn't need to be painful. Just because something is important, doesn't mean we need to stress. And we can show kids how much we care by being calm and relaxed. Teenagers don't need to hear 40 million times how important their choices are. They really do know.

But they do need tools and strategies. They need to know how to approach an unfamiliar situation with ease and poise. They need to know how to not give up when they can't turn to anyone.

So, if you know a Sophomore, send them some love this month. This is a huge time for them and they need all the support they can get.

Tuesday, January 20th, 2009

I became a teacher at age 22 in September, 2001. I had very little idea what I was getting into. Two weeks into my career, that feeling was driven completely home.

On September 11th, 2001 I had to look 150 students in the face and try to answer their questions as best I could. I could barely answer my own questions, but still they looked up to me for answers. I muddled through the best I could, hoping that through my influence, my students would not let their fear and anger turn into a permanent bitterness.

I started to think that the only national experiences I would have with my students would be overwhelmingly sad and negative in nature.

Today, that changed.

I made a point to show my students the inauguration this morning. I not only did this because of the historic nature of this event, but I did this because I am very aware that for these young people there has been so much sadness and loss. The particular children I teach were around 9 years old during 9-11. Much of their adolescence has been spent while our nation is at war, and now we face dark economic times.

Today served as a bright spot for my students and I. We all began on a new journey with our new president today. I am so glad that I have the job that I do. I actually turned to them at one point and said, when President Obama referred to the future, "He's talking about YOU." It didn't sound corny or preachy at all. They got it.

Running on Empty

I hit that typical teacher skid today. The one where you realize the students are paying better attention than you are. Several times today I was the major cause of annoyance to my students because I was the one off-task, or not listening, or just staring into space.

Here is a sampling of some of my remarks when my students expressed frustration at my lack of focus:

"Sorry I missed your call. Ms Harrell isn't here right now; please leave a message at the beep."

"Oh, whoops. You expected a response."

"And once more for the cheap seats!"

"Really, you need me to answer that?"

"I started break last Friday. You'll have to excuse me."

"Wait...what???"

The school year didn't start off this way. Actually, I felt pretty much on fire until circa Halloween. Here was my typical routine prior to the winter slow-down:

* Woke up at 5, worked out for a half hour
* Took shower, did hair, make up
* Out of house prior to 7 with daughter in tow
* Worked solidly from 7:30 to 4:00 with one 20 minute break for lunch
* Picked up daughter at 4:30
* Home by five, made snack for Em
* Worked out for another half hour
* Made dinner, cleaned, bathed Em
* Greeted husband at 8, completely exhausted but feeling accomplished

That patterned continued until late October, when I no longer could get up early enough to work out in the morning. So, I'd have to work out for an hour in the evening, meaning no time for cleaning. Eventually, too, the hair doing and make up putting on ceased. But hey, that extra 15 minutes of sleep is a non-negotiable.

Tomorrow is the day before winter break. I have finished my first semester of grad school. My husband just finished his semester. And I have graded over 600 essays this semester (okay, I am never allowed to actually count it AGAIN.)

And I'm done. My brain power is all used up. The gas light is on and I'm puttering to the curb. Luckily present wrapping, cookie making, and egg-nog drinking don't take that much thinkin!

And that's all, Folks!

Today I entered my grades, tidied my class room, and thanked the few colleagues who were still around for being so kind to me during my first year. Today I finished my first year teaching high school.

Here's my year, by the numbers:

* Started at 155 students, grew to 160, shrank back down to 149
* Sent out over 40 progress reports first semester for failing students, failed less than 10 today
* Met two kindred spirits, made three friends, found one possible foe amongst my fellow teachers
* Found at least three students in each class I will remember forever, discovered one student who is my "mini-me"
* Had two students tell me they were pregnant
* Had four students tell me their parents lost their homes
* Had countless students tell me they would never want my job
* Had one student tell me I've convinced her to become a teacher
* Cried twice in front of my department head
* Cried too many times to count in my car on the way home
* Got two lay-off notices
* Got two job offers
* Hugged 10 students on their way out of the class room
* Had 15 students drop by after finals to hug me on my way out of the class room

I started teaching over seven years ago, wanting to be a high school teacher. I became a middle school teacher because at 22 I felt too young to teach students who could be 18. It was a huge decision for me to move to high school, and while this year has had it's ups and downs, it has been a huge gift to me. I've remembered a couple things:

1. I did not become a teacher to teach rich kids
2. Books are cool!
3. Talking about college is super fun
4. Workplaces are basically the same everywhere you go...there will be awesome people; there will be not so awesome people
5. What I teach is not as important as who I teach
6. It is always better to laugh than cry (or yell)
7. Nothing is more intoxicating than hope

Few professions give people such a chance to reflect. What I like about teaching is that every year I get to wrap things up and start over. It really is the best job.

A Shakespearean Task

When I graduated from college, I intended to teach high school English. Then, my adviser suggested teaching middle school. I was only 22, looked very young, and felt uncomfortable with prospect of teaching students only four years younger than myself.

It turned out that teaching middle school was great. The kids are actually a lot of fun, and it's my personal theory that all secondary teachers should start in middle school: if you can make it there you can make it anywhere.

The one drawback was that I did not get to teach the really cool literature that is available to teach at the high school level. There were some fun books: The Giver, The Outsiders (EVERY kid loves that one.) But I didn't love the books.

A huge motivation for moving to high school was teaching a more interesting curriculum. I was very bummed to discover this summer that my school was one of those moving away from teaching novels, however. It's a current theory in high school English that the only way to teach our standards is to use a textbook (SO Wrong by the way...I've never know a student to fall in love with a textbook.) Instead of teaching cool novels to my 10th graders, I've been forced to use the textbook, which is so lame.

However, today I got to realize a dream of mine. I taught my students Shakespeare. Granted, it's not my favorite play--Julius Caesar, but it's still total fun. I love how Shakespeare can spark instant love within a student, even if he doesn't totally understand what's going on. So many kids were just transfixed by what we were reading today. It has brought so many kids out of their shells, made them really excited to talk about Literature.

Also, actually reading Shakespeare has taken apart some of their misconceptions about it. Several students raised their hands after we had read a bit: "Hey, I thought this was supposed to be proper English." We were able to talk about how language changes and how, since this was written about 400 years ago, imagine how much is different now.

Not all kids were enthralled today. There were some mighty big sighs at the end of Cassius's longest speeches. But it was a good day. It took me seven years to finally teach Shakespeare and I'm so glad I got this opportunity.