As the Wheel Turns...

One great thing about teaching, at least for my personality, is that every year I get to hit the reset button and start all over again. Some people may find that tiring, but it suits me really well. I have great bursts of energy, but my focus and enthusiasm tends to wane over time.

I added it up the other day, and in my eight years of teaching, I have had 14 first days of school. (Most years I teach summer school, so those firsts count too.) A few things have come to my attention:

1. I never sleep well the night before. Never.
2. Certain rituals have become constant: I always tweeze my eyebrows and do my nails the night before. This is odd, because these tasks are not habit in general for me (though some would argue they should be.)
3. While I'm not known for getting to work early (not a morning person), I feel so much better if I get to work early on the first day.
4. Regardless of what I'm teaching, both the kids and are I nervous. Though in summer school we are together for six hours, so we tend to get over that quickly.
5. The first day always goes faster than I thought it would (and I always plan too much to do.)

Many people raise their eyebrows when I say I'm a teacher. And more than a few (especially teachers) question what trauma has been enacted upon my frontal lobe that would cause me to VOLUNTEER for summer school. Teaching is certainly not for everyone, but I have taken so much value from this job that even if I were to quit tomorrow, I could honestly say teaching has changed me forever.

Lessons I have learned that live beyond the classroom:

* People will always test your resolve
* Nothing is more disarming than a confident smile
* Consistency is key
* The dreams and hopes of young people can erase the worst mood
* Being open to possibility is not just a corny idea
* If you don't provide Kleenex, most people will begin to bring their own
* If anyone truly bugs the heck out of you, it's because you are more similar to him or her than you would like to admit.

Every time I start a new class, I feel more than a bit overwhelmed. It's a whole new set of personalities, conflicts, and strange quirks to get used to. Sometimes I am not sure how long I can do this.

But then a student makes me laugh so hard I actually cry and I know it's totally worth it.

When Reality Doesn't Match Fantasy

I have a friend who's a teacher (actually, I have many), and one comment people say to her about teaching always irks her: "At least you don't work during the summer." Her point is that we work a condensed work year, intensely focusing from mid-August to early June and we use the summer for planning, workshops, and home repairs.

I get where she is coming from. But only from a distance.

In my 8 years of teaching, I have only not taught summer school twice--my first year when I had credential classes to take during the summer and the year Em was born. She was born the last day of school, which worked out perfectly for us.

But every other year I have taught summer school. At least three weeks, if not six. 7:30 to 1 or so. So fun.

Now, I am aware that some people NEVER get vacation. I am aware that work can be an incredibly dull, repetitive experience for many people. I am lucky to get the time off that I do. And I'm super lucky that my job changes pretty much every calendar year. I do not teach the same kids or even the same subjects. It is a nice life.

However, I had plans this year. Beautiful plans. Gorgeous plans. Plans that were just asking to be broken.

My plan was to NOT teach summer school.

Well, it was a nice plan.

Here's the sitch. I have another year of grad school. We will have to start re-paying Justin's school loan next year and we have a car loan. In addition, we'd like to start building our savings again. I'd really like to not take out another loan for school for me next year. And Justin and I figured out that if we both teach summer school, we can pay for daycare and save some money.

So summer school is the smart decision. Especially for me. I'm practically guaranteed a position because I currently work in the district and have already proven myself at two schools during summer school. It might be harder for Justin to get a position because he doesn't have a position within a district. And it seems that many teachers are trying to take care of business and save some money, so the competition may be fierce.

It's the smart decision. But it's also lame.

I wanted to stay at home with Em. I wanted to develop a little routine for the two of us, see friends, and visit family.

Sigh.

I really just need to get over my fantasy of what this summer could be like and deal with the reality. It will still be pleasant. I will still have time for Em and my husband and for me. And I always have next summer.

Still. It sucks.

Sigh.