You Know It's Monday When...

* You forget which way to turn your shower head and alternately burn and freeze the crud out of yourself
* Coffee cannot be made fast enough
* 27 pound child must be carried to car with bag, coffee, and 20-pound cat darting in front of you to get out
* Signs for "Slow down, children present" make you snarl (hey, it's almost May)
* The wrong date is on the agenda board and no one notices until fifth period
* You are inappropriately angry at the "angel" who pointed out the date was wrong
* Coffee was all gone by second period and you look wistfully at your mug throughout the afternoon
* Email does not exist until third period
* Your lesson bores you
* Face muscles actually hurt from all the eye rolling
* Final bell at 3:19 simply causes you to stare into space
* Until you remember you don't have to be there anymore
* Drive home from daycare is completely silent
* Working out is dumb
* You're pretty sure if you hear Jillian from the "Biggest Loser" exercise video tell you again that "abs don't come for free", you will march to where ever she is and eat her
* Dancing with the Stars is actually entertaining
* It is really good there is no wine in the house

My Kryptonite: PAIN

I have a problem with pain. I hate, hate, hate being in pain. When I'm in pain (this is physical pain, I'm talking about) I cannot think (or really talk) about anything else.

And what I say is not nice.

It's like the filter that typically separates my true thoughts and the kind euphemisms I normally say dissolves. And there I am in all my tactless, pain-filled wonder. It's like I need everyone else to experience my unhappiness.

I do not like this aspect of my personality.

But seriously, I hate pain.

Take the last 24 hours. I got cavities filled last week and I don't my bite was done correctly. I must have been hitting a nerve because every time I chewed, a stabbing pain shot from my mouth straight to my ear. Last night I couldn't sleep. Had to lay on the couch with an ice pack and count the minutes before the Advil kicked in.

Today at work was low key. I graded while the kids took finals, and I was out by 12:30. But I was not my usual self.

Here's how I know I've changed and grown as a person: I actually did something about my pain. I didn't whine and complain. I made an appointment and got my dentist to shave down my fillings. I already feel better.

This is new behavior for me. I used to be in pain, but procrastinate doing anything about it. Drove my husband nuts.

I've noticed since I had a kid that I don't tend to do that anymore. I seem to value my time more.

Or, I have just started to drive myself crazy too with all my complaining. :)

I'd rather...

I have oft heard (and even said myself) the following: I would rather have a root canal than...fill in the blank--do my taxes, mow the lawn, clean my room, etc.

Well, that is just not the truth. I'd rather do my taxes, fifty times over in one year, than get a root canal. I now know this as a fact because today I experienced my first, and last thank you very much, root canal.

I find all of this very embarrassing, so of course, I'm telling everyone in the world. Whatever. But the reason for this particular procedure is two-fold: 1) I am a VERY bad girl, and 2) I have VERY bad dental genetics. Well, that's not entirely true; my teeth are straight, just weak as all get out.

So last week, I dragged my sorry butt to the dentist to discover that it is possible to spend all your dental insurance allowance in one visit. (Side note: if you can get a job with EGUSD and keep it, the insurance is FANTASTIC, no joke.)

Today I paid the proverbial piper and went to my two-hour appointment. I came to the following conclusions:

1. Marvin Gaye is a very strange musical choice for a dental office, especially when you are getting your teeth drilled (Yes, I do want to get it on!)
2. Being a dental assistant and keeping a straight face while patients make all sorts of funky faces must be really difficult; I wonder if they have classes in it.
3. Novocaine is a fantastic product, but not as good as codeine.
4. I will forever carry floss in my purse...and actually use it.

I am really glad today is over and I am pretty sure I will pause the next time I get the urge to say, "I'd rather..."